your sos survival guide to facing your relatives this holiday season

Featuring exact timestamps for escape, Squid Game facts for deflection, and the scientific art of strategic dish-washing.

I spend most of my life analyzing how stories unfold on screen, but nothing has prepared me for the white-knuckle thriller that is holiday season social dynamics. Annual questions such as “when are you going to finally settle down?” have more dramatic tension than a Succession season finale, and my strategic exits require the kind of timing usually reserved for heist movie getaway drivers.

So I made this guide for you - my brutally honest guide to surviving this year’s family holidays.

Whether you need the perfect Squid Game Season 2 facts to shield yourself from career interrogations, or the exact timestamp for when to start washing dishes (spoiler: it's when anyone mentions crypto), I've got you. Because if the next few weeks are going to feel like they were written by Jesse Armstrong, we might as well nail our escape scenes.

Happy holidays and may the force be with you.

📚 A HELPFUL NAVIGATION 📚

• CONVERSATION ESCAPE ROUTES

• SURVIVAL TACTICS FOR INTROVERTS

• THE PARENT-PROOF WATCHLIST

• EMERGENCY PROTOCOLS

• THE "THIS IS ACTUALLY HELPFUL" SECTION

• BONUS: THE HOLIDAY BINGO CARD

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